Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
