so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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