i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
