if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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