5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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