Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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