Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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