Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
