There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
