Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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