good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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