id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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