The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
