he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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