My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
