Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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