so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
