Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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