sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
