Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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