last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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