I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize