hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
