she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We named our party play list daddy issues
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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