reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
