I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
