how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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