Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
