i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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