used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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