There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
