i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
