So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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