so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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