The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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