and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
