it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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