I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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