we're blogging at a bar
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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