I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
