I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
