I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
