thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
