So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
