Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
