His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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