i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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