As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
