I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize