Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
