i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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