I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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