I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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