ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
