I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
