If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You can't just leave with hair like that
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
