We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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