margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize