It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
